Jude is seven weeks old. My, how time flies. I was sitting there today looking at him. He seems so big to me already, long and getting fatter every day. The newborn phase is so short. His body is lengthening. I’m not sure if he is actually growing that much, or just uncurling like a fern frond. He just seems so much bigger all of the sudden. Perhaps it is just my perception, but it is sad to be saying goodbye to that newborn baby I was holding for such a short time. Poof.

He is getting more fun by the day though. He is fascinated with the world around him, in particular he likes to study artwork we have hanging on the walls, mirrors included. There is one chair in our living room and when you sit in it he can’t tear his eyes away from the lamp on the table next to it. Sometimes it is such a distraction that I can’t nurse him there because he is craning his neck so far in the wrong direction! When he wakes up, he loves to be placed under his mobile where he coos and smiles at the animals and shapes hanging there. It is like a baby drug, an endless source of entertainment for our boy!

I started on fenugreek this week. Today will be day four and I’ve already seen an increase of about an ounce in each breast for each feeding/pumping session. That is good news since it seemed like my milk supply was already getting smaller. Apparently I am supposed to keep taking it until I am at the level of production that I need and then I can stop taking it. So far we are supplementing Jude’s diet with about six to eight ounces of formula a day so I figure I just need to increase by another ounce or so and I’ll be good. As long as he is draining each breast at each feeding I won’t be making too much. And because I seem to have the opposite problem, I don’t think there can be too much breast milk! I tried to increase the supply by extra feedings/pumpings, but it didn’t work. So fenugreek to the rescue. I smell like a giant pancake, but that is okay by me!

Last Thursday, 5/1/08, I had my gallbladder surgery. It went well, it was laproscopic day surgery. I entered the hospital at 11:00 AM and was home by 6:00PM. There has been nothing too notable about the surgery, a little pain, a little sore, a lot tired. The first day I spent in bed with Jude. All day. It was great. Then I decided to kind of get back to normal. It has been going pretty well. My pain is diminishing by the hour it seems. I am just getting so tired. Sleeping in until 9:30 and falling asleep at 8:00. I guess with night feedings and surgery I am really asking a lot of my body. The best part has been the return to a somewhat normal diet. The morning after surgery I ate a PB&J sandwich. It was really good. Then the next day it was pizza. Mmm. It has been a long time! Now I need to rein it all in again to continue the weight loss. I can’t exercise quite yet but can and need to diet still. I bought a bunch of clothes that are on the smaller end. They fit, but were bought with the idea that I am on a downward trend so are a little on the tighter side still. A few more pounds and I’ll be golden.

This week marks my final week at home with the family. On Friday I will return to work for the final six weeks of school before summer break. While I am looking forward to returning to work, I must admit that the thought of it has cast a dark shadow over the remainder of the week. I am bored here at home, but am lamenting my loss of being able to observe my growing family all the time.

It will be good to get back though. Guinevere and I are driving each other nuts lately. She has become incredibly needy and controlling of my time lately. I just feel like I can’t do enough for her. At the end of the day she tallies up what has not happened for her rather than seeing all of the things that we’ve gone out of our way to do for her. Any moment I am not holding Jude (and even those when I am holding him) she is demanding that I spend with her. Mostly I’m fine with that, there are just some times though when i don’t want a lap/bath/bed buddy. She has become jealous of any time that anybody gets to spend with me and questions constantly why that person gets to do something with me (Bradley included). Our dear daughter has also began to test us lately. If we ask her to do something she is now asking why, complaining about it, or doing it so slowly. I know that it is all normal that she behave like this, especially with the introduction of a sibling, and I know that in the grand scheme we still have an amazing kid, but I need a break from her constant needs and I think that work will be a good place to get that break.

That’s it. Perhaps now I can get back to sleep. I woke at about 2:30 and now at 3:40 perhaps sleep is on the horizon.
Enjoy Mother’s Day!
Tamara


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