I remember finding out that you were on your way.  The precarious beginning that had us on pins and needles, hoping against hope that you would be you.  You were, you are, and we are so grateful.  From that first visit to the doctor to make sure you truly existed, when we saw the flashing of that tiny heart, we loved you.  We loved you as you tried to make your way into the world, Pitocin running through my veins, contractions ripping through me, only to find out that your little head was too large to fit through my birth canal.  I loved you enough that while on the operating table moments before being cut into all I could think of was you, walking with you through the cemetery, leaves piled high.  It was a good year for leaves in Bellingham, 2003.  And then you were here, pink and white, wailing loudly.  I already knew you, I already loved you.  Dear Guinevere Rose.

Now you say that you knew us before you came.  You say that in heaven there is a big bag of babies that just swim around together.   You say that you looked down from heaven and spied us, you chose us, and you came to us.  You say that you met your brother and that you agreed that you would come first and he would follow.  If that’s true, thank you for choosing us, thank you for coming to us.

We brought you home and spent hours filling our eyes with you.  Your sweet little rosebud mouth, your bright studious eyes, your delicate neck.  We reveled in you.  You made us a family.  Every moment spent with you was a gift to be relished.  We videoed you sleeping, nursing, eating, we caught every first on tape and filed it away for later on.  We taught you signs so we would know your thoughts, we played music with you, we walked the woods, we chased our chickens: Ivy, Bemmie, Bess, Gertrude, Virginia and Veda.  You were and are so important to us.

And now you are six.  My little tiny baby has blossomed into a little girl.  A kindergarten girl!  You can draw princesses like nobody’s business, you can read, you can write, you can run and play.  You are compassionate and kind, generous to a fault.  You are a good friend who is willing to find the best in everybody around you.  Your little brother, who is surprisingly strong, hits you with his little fists, and you tolerate it.  You tell him no, you never hit him back, even though you are terrifically frustrated by him.  You are strong, stronger and braver than you know.  You are willing to try anything once, and then possibly a second time if Mommy or Daddy are by your side.

You say that when you grow up you are going to live with us in our house, with your wife and child.  You say you will never give birth because it is icky and scary, but will adopt a baby.  You say you want to marry your best friend and you will be ballerinas and artists together.  I welcome everything your world dreams.  Live with us forever, because I never want to let you go.  Adopt a baby, we only wish to hold a grandchild.  I wish for you everything, little girl.  I hope your every dream comes true.  You are light, you are hope, you are love.  Welcome to six.

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