My parents came home! They came home about two weeks ago and ever since we have been Velcroed to them! We spent last Saturday out at their place, the kids rolling out and baking cookies to decorate on Christmas Day, and the adults got some really wonderful conversations, hugs and kisses in.
My mom had a grandmother who she was really attached to. Her Grandma Meadows was a large, soft, German woman who taught my mom about life. She taught her about unconditional love, sewing, really great hugs, cooking, mothering, and she taught my mom about what it means to be a good grandma. She opened her door and her arms to my mom whenever she needed it. I know that there are different kinds of good grandmas out there. My mom is trying to be the stable grandma, the one with open arms and open ears. She wants to be the grandma who starts and continues traditions, like baking cookies or yearly camping trips. My mom craves her grandchildren and drinks them up, making them the center of her world while they are around. No mess is too big, no project is too far out there. My mom wants to teach her grandkids knitting or how to make the best hobo picnic all wrapped in a hankie on the end of the stick, but most of all she wants to teach her grandkids what it is like to feel loved, unconditionally. I think that is a pretty great gift.
When I was taking these pictures, I noticed my mom doing those same things she did with me when I was three and eight. She let my kids choose their cookie cutters, let them place it on the dough. She let them punch out the cookie and put it on the sheet, all twisted and weirdly shaped by the time it was ready to bake. I see these things and think of how lucky my kids are that they have this. My grandparents all lived out of the state; I would see them annually, almost like a doctor, and I am in awe of the relationship that my lucky kids get to have with four grandparents who all live close by and who all adore them, crave their hugs and love them whole heartedly. My kids don’t have any choice but to feel loved and accepted. What a great gift.
I hope that someday, much much further down the road, Bradley and I will get to try our chops at grandparenting (the prognosis is not great right now as Gigi has conceded to possibly adopting one child – just MAYBE – while Jude thinks he is going to marry his sister and that Bradley and I will shrink down and become their children, his own concocted version of ‘Where Did I Come From). Until then, we will leave it to the experts: our kid’s grandparents.
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